i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
