is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
