Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
