Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
