Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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