Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
