I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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