And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
sex in a hospital.. check
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
