i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
