we have pet lesbian snakes
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just googled if crying burns calories
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I didn't notice because vodka
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
