I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
