I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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