go do what you do best...puke behind churches
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
