Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just pee around me
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
