So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
