Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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