So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
