I cockslap morals
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
