eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
