I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
