Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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