I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
