it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
