Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
