this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
