He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
