At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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