Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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