Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
