is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
