To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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