That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
