how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
we're so committed to being not committed
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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