Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
