Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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