yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
