and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she looked like the before picture.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
