Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
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