You're completely useless in the revolution.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
