My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
