Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
