I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I yelled at your uterus for you.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
