I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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