if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
