I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
