That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
