woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
