billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
It's just like the Real World with babies
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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