She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
