im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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