I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
